28 Tuesday May 2019
Martyn Richard Jones
Bruxelles 28th May 2019
To paraphrase the great Bob Hoffman. Just when you thought that if evangelists for Agile were to generate one more ounce of bullshit the entire fucking solar system would explode, what do they do? Exceed expectations.
And how did they do that? Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Agile at Scale with all the miscellaneous, spiced-up and vainglorious crap-on-the-side that accompanies it.
23 Tuesday Feb 2016
In the beginning was the Big Iron, the Big Data, and the Big Data Plan.
And then came the Big Data Assumptions.
And the Big Data Assumptions were without form.
And the Big Data Plan was without substance.
And the Big Iron was without movement.
And the Big Data was without velocity, variety and volume.
And darkness was upon the face of the data workers.
And they spoke amongst themselves, saying: “Big Data, is a crock of shit, and it stinketh mucho”.
And the data workers went unto their Data Supervisors and said: “This here Big Data is a pile of putrid crappy keech”, for they were from Govan, and continued, “and none may abide the odour thereof”.
And the Data Supervisors went unto their Information Managers, saying: “Big Data is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it.”
And the Information Managers went unto their Business Directors, saying: “This here Big Data doodoo is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength.”
And the Business Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying to one another: “Big Data contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very powerful.”
And the Vice Presidents went unto the President, saying unto him: “This new Big Data will actively promote the growth and vigour of the company, with powerful effects.”
And the President looked upon the Big Iron, the Big Data and the Big Data Plan, and saw that they were good.
Many thanks for reading
Join The Big Data Contrarians
01 Monday Dec 2014
Posted in awareness, Banking, Consider this, disinformation, Dogma
Consider this: Financial Crisis and Subprime.
Patti Smith 1975 Robert Mapplethorpe 1946-1989 ARTIST ROOMS Acquired jointly with the National Galleries of Scotland through The d’Offay Donation with assistance from the National Heritage Memorial Fund and the Art Fund 2008 http://www.tate.org.uk/art/work/AR00185
This is a republication of a piece written in 2009 on the subject of the Financial Crisis and Subprime loans. As the spectre of overreach and unhedged risks raises its ugly head once again, the temptation to republish this piece was just too much to resist. Continue reading
12 Sunday Oct 2014
Posted in Architecture, Ask Martyn, Banking, Best principles, Big Data, Business Intelligence, Creativity, Data Warehouse, Dogma, Knowledge, Peeves
Tags
Banking, Behavioural Economics, Big Data, Bill Inmon, business intelligence, data integration, Data Marts, Demagogism, Dogma, enterprise data warehousing, hadoop, Information and Technology, information management
This weekend I read a piece on the Information Management website by Steve Miller with the title of Big Data vs. the Data Warehouse. It’s an old piece, from March 2014.
It was in response to a piece by Bill Inmon titled “Big Data or Data Warehouse?” Turbocharge Your Porsche – Buy an Elephant, in which he singled out for criticism the ad campaign of a big-data and Hadoop promoter.
08 Wednesday Oct 2014
Posted in Big Data, Business Intelligence, Data Warehouse, Dogma, Peeves
Tags
Behavioural Economics, Big Data, business intelligence, Data Warehouse, enterprise data warehousing
Martyn Richard Jones
2026 Remaster
The problem with Data Warehousing is that at a superficially high level, it is very easy to explain, and it’s quite impressive that this superficially high level is all that a lot of people need in order to do data warehousing their own way.
07 Tuesday Oct 2014
Posted in Architecture, Best principles, Business Intelligence, Data Warehouse, Dogma, Knowledge, Offshoring, Outsourcing, Peeves, Risk, Strategy
Tags
Behavioural Economics, Business Enablement, business intelligence, Business Management, business strategy, Challenges, Data Warehouse, Demagogism, Dogma, Financial, IT Strategy, Offshoring, Organisational Autism, Outsourcing, Requirements management, Risk
Martyn Richard Jones
I wrote a piece titled “Mugged in Data Hell.”
It told the story of a CIO who was hoodwinked, cajoled, bullied, bribed and patronised into doing the wrong things, continuously.
As my mate Bill said, “It packs big punches, and doesn’t hold back with the shit-kicking truth”.
06 Monday Oct 2014
Posted in Architecture, Best principles, Creativity, Data Warehouse, Dogma, Excellence, Management, Offshoring, Outsourcing, Strategy
Tags
Behavioural Economics, business strategy, Creativity, IT Strategy, Organisational Autism, Strategy
Martyn Richard Jones
Remastered for 2026
Like many people around the world, I have certain expectations.
When I want some artwork done for a sales campaign, yes, I expect the people that I commission to show a lot of creativity.
When I want to read a novel, go to the theatre or simply chill out watching a movie, yes, I do expect some degree of creativity.
05 Sunday Oct 2014
Posted in Best principles, Creativity, Dogma, Knowledge, Management
Martyn Richard Jones
Remastered for 2026
Here are three stories that illustrate the connection between creativity and what we do in business. Jack’s Retail Story talks about the expansion of retail business; Jill’s Colour Book Story highlights a hugely pervasive tendency, even in these times; and Martyn’s Summer Story argues that there is a strategic time and place for some things.
04 Saturday Oct 2014
Posted in Business Intelligence, Dogma, Management, Peeves
Tags
Behavioural Economics, business intelligence, Demagogism, Dogma, enterprise data warehousing, IT Strategy
Written by Martyn Richard Jones
Remastered for 2026
USING MY OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
’m in a board room, addressing the assembled bunch of socially challenged IT management and hangers-on.
I explain, in simple language, how they can and should implement Enterprise Data Warehousing iteratively and agilely, and why they should do so rather than other approaches. I also explain how to do Business Intelligence, again, both iteratively and agilely.
They, the assembled suits, wring their hands and say, “We can’t do it any differently now, we have to deliver everything we promised by September, or we are screwed”.
GOOD STRATEGY 