Martyn Jones is Chief Scientist and Information Architect at Cambriano Energy. For better or worse, he is known as the Big Data Contrarian. He is the author of the widely acclaimed eBook Laughing @ Big Data, available at amazon.com.
Tea with The Data Contrarian is a series of interviews around data and analytics.
Today, Martyn talks with the great Afilonius Rex on contemporary trends, fads, and fancies in data, analytics and more.
I am quite a fan of many aspects that sit under the Data Mesh umbrella. However, when it comes to a proper fact-based understanding and analysis of the history, place and architecture (business, data and technical) of Data Warehousing, the leading exponents of data mesh have it woefully wrong.
Therefore, the purpose of this blog article is to set the record straight.
The data warehouse as a place to copy OLTP exhaust data to?
Today I want to talk with you about energising
the Agile Way of Working brand.
Sadly, the Agile Way of Working movement
seems to be temporarily on the wane. The adoption rate of AWOW has not risen in
line with expectations. It’s stuck in the doldrums between Scylla and Charybdis.
Which makes for frowns all around.
But, me being me, I didn’t leave it at
that. That’s a challenge, right there! Let’s go for it! Let’s turn those frowns
As result, I searched for a way to help the
Agile@Scale crowd out, and I eventually came up with ten amazing pieces of incredible
advice on how to easily make ‘Agile Way of Working’ truly something worth
So, here we have it:
First, change its name from the
Agile Way of Working to the Agile Way of Whacking Off (Agile WOWO), you know, a
touchy-feely way to “sex up” requirements. Bush and Blair style.
Epics will be referred to as
Dodgy Dossiers, User Stories will become Curated Jokes and Sprints will become Streaks.
People working on Streaks will
be known as Streakers, chapter members will be known as Schleppers and guild
members will be known as Schmucks, everyone else will be referred to as Bernie
Every morning Dodgy Dossier Owners
must repeat the term “Agile Operating Model” until they puke their
All Scrum and Kanban boards are
be replaced with life-sized wack-a-mole models.
Only those kitted out as My Little
Pony or Princess Line can use coloured post-it notes.
Anyone caught using the names
Google, Spotify, Netflix or Zappos.com will be denied the oxygen of publicity.
Anyone evidenced repeating the terms
“by design”, “learning journey” and “minimum viable
product” will be denied the oxygen of oxygen.
Anyone caught using comic images
of rockets, astronauts or planets (including the sun) anywhere in their
“content” will be forever referred to as a feckin space-cadet.
If you can’t defecate rainbows on
demand then you have no right being involved in Agile at Scale or the Agile Way
of Whacking Off.
There you have it. Ten jolly and sensible
policies for a happy world of Agile at Scale and Agile WOWO.
Many thanks for reading,
This is Martyn Jones of goodstrat.com – THE
GOOD STRATEGY COMPANY
Until next time.
Contact me at martyn dot jones at goodstrat
To paraphrase the great Bob Hoffman. Just when you thought that if evangelists for Agile were to generate one more ounce of bullshit the entire fucking solar system would explode, what do they do? Exceed expectations.
And how did they do that? Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Agile at Scale with all the miscellaneous, spiced-up and vainglorious crap-on-the-side that accompanies it.
I think Agile has its place, especially in the world of software application development, especially in building the kind of software that businesses frequently use in the peripheral aspects of their day-to-day operations.
Done right, Agile can make the difference between a great success and a painful failure. Done badly, and you might suffer a worse fate than a badly applied Software Development Life Cycle such as Waterfall. Done well, and Agile will oil the wheels of the machine that gets things done.
These are my Big Data, Data Warehousing and Analytics extrapolations for 2017. They are based on extensive, exhaustive and enigmatic work carried out by top-notch researcher gurus at Cambriano Energy, between December 2015 and December 2016.
So, stick with us as we survey the landscape that will be Big Data in 2017. Continue reading →
Big Data, together with Cloud computing, the Internet of Things and Machine Learning, are topics that are very much to the fore in contemporary trends in Information Management. But is Big Data really the revolution that people have been waiting for or is it simply about the next steps in the evolution of business data architecture and management? Continue reading →