The data warehouse is the repository for the post-transactional data

Martyn Richard Jones

Saintes 20th March 2023

Narrator: As much as I love the work of some celebrated buffoons, fools and jesters with imagination, there are some areas that they should not be allowed to invade without adequate supervision being in place.

Dud: Pete,why do people talk such complete and utter unsubstantiated poll tax?

Pete: Because they can, Dud, because they can. Just like Everest!

Dud: Eh?

Pete: Because it’s there, Dud!

Dud: What, balderdash, my aunt Nellie or the mountain?

Pete: Give me some context, Dud. I can’t help you if you don’t give me some context.

Dud: Err, all right then.I mean, I was having a quiet pint of sherbet down the old Fart and Lattice and this inebriated bloke came rolling into the lounge, as paced as a newt. Moreover, he came staggering up to me, transversally, and between splattering’s of beer-laced spit said to me, right into my left lughole “The data warehouse is a repository for the post-transactional data that IT hopes the business needs”.

Pete: Oh, get away! You really have a vivid imagination, Dud.

Dud: He did and all! No messing… Scout’s honour!

Pete: Seriously, no, no he didn’t. Did he? Really? In that case, what can one say?Wwhat an absolute Friar Tuck. Something had obviously got to him. Had he been skiing on the piste all day? Anyway, what did you reply to the cheeky monkey? Get your dogs off my yard? Social catting distancing, mate? Speak to the woollen mitten of might because the iron bobble-hat ain’t listening?

Dud: If only! I asked him what he meant by “post-transactional data”. Like the data that comes after the transaction that was made or the data that comes after the postie has called.

Pete: So, assuming that he couldn’t actually take his line of bollox to the next logical level I suppose that was the end of it. Right? Sort of like when taxi drivers and others complain about foreigners coming over here fixing our IT, and diversity and equal rights bashers. They just haven’t thought it through. I’m sure that when these geezers think and talk of business then it’s more about sweetie-shop than any sort of significant regional, national or global enterprise.

Dud: Pretty much so, Pete. Barbara also banned him for talking a load of old nonsense of a Monday in the presence of adults, and making all their beer flat as a result. She really let him have it. “Get outta my pub you provocative oaf! You’re barred!”, she said to him in her best shouterer voice.