The Uruguayan writer Mario Orlando Hamlet Hardy Brenno Benedetti Farugia, better known as Mario Benedetti, is no longer with us. Born in the small town of Paso de los Toros in the department of Tacuarembó, on the 14th of September 1920, he died in his home in the city of Montevideo, this last Sunday (17/5/2009), at the age of 88.
Oh dear, whatever happened here? After years of over-borrowing and under-saving, the plentiful supply of cheap and easy money, the enthusiastic recklessness of a number of financial managers, and the complaisance of governments, the inevitable happened, and panic ensued.
In 2016 the UK held what was called the United Kingdom European Union membership referendum the objective of which was to gauge public sentiment about the UK leaving or remaining in the EU.
It was a non-binding consultation, which
means that regardless of outcome, it can be legitimately ignored by MPs.
The generally accepted nonsense about the referendum being legally or constitutionally binding was just that, nonsense.
In 2016 the UK held what was offically known as the United Kingdom European Union membership referendum, a non-binding consultation with the people of the UK on the question of the UK leaving or remaining in the EU.
51.9% of those who voted supported the UK’s exit from the European Union.
Today I want to talk with you about energising
the Agile Way of Working brand.
Sadly, the Agile Way of Working movement
seems to be temporarily on the wane. The adoption rate of AWOW has not risen in
line with expectations. It’s stuck in the doldrums between Scylla and Charybdis.
Which makes for frowns all around.
But, me being me, I didn’t leave it at
that. That’s a challenge, right there! Let’s go for it! Let’s turn those frowns
upside-down
As result, I searched for a way to help the
Agile@Scale crowd out, and I eventually came up with ten amazing pieces of incredible
advice on how to easily make ‘Agile Way of Working’ truly something worth
having around.
So, here we have it:
First, change its name from the
Agile Way of Working to the Agile Way of Whacking Off (Agile WOWO), you know, a
touchy-feely way to “sex up” requirements. Bush and Blair style.
Epics will be referred to as
Dodgy Dossiers, User Stories will become Curated Jokes and Sprints will become Streaks.
People working on Streaks will
be known as Streakers, chapter members will be known as Schleppers and guild
members will be known as Schmucks, everyone else will be referred to as Bernie
or Helen.
Every morning Dodgy Dossier Owners
must repeat the term “Agile Operating Model” until they puke their
guts out.
All Scrum and Kanban boards are
be replaced with life-sized wack-a-mole models.
Only those kitted out as My Little
Pony or Princess Line can use coloured post-it notes.
Anyone caught using the names
Google, Spotify, Netflix or Zappos.com will be denied the oxygen of publicity.
Anyone evidenced repeating the terms
“by design”, “learning journey” and “minimum viable
product” will be denied the oxygen of oxygen.
Anyone caught using comic images
of rockets, astronauts or planets (including the sun) anywhere in their
“content” will be forever referred to as a feckin space-cadet.
If you can’t defecate rainbows on
demand then you have no right being involved in Agile at Scale or the Agile Way
of Whacking Off.
There you have it. Ten jolly and sensible
policies for a happy world of Agile at Scale and Agile WOWO.
Many thanks for reading,
This is Martyn Jones of goodstrat.com – THE
GOOD STRATEGY COMPANY
Until next time.
Contact me at martyn dot jones at goodstrat
dot com
The Big Data bullshit well was always going
to run dry. They didn’t believe me.
Now it’s very clear.
They were wrong. I was right. I told them
so.
Gloat? Me? Why, hell yeah!
I am laughing at the shameless and
opportunistic fools, charlatans and chancers of Big Data and the Hadoop ecosphere,
because it’s the very least they deserve.
This is the first in a series of management talking points. The name Leadership 7s has been influenced by the great game of rugby, which is was the emblematic game of my youth and a passion of the home country of my Mom and Dad, Wales.
In fact, much of what I learned about
leadership in my formative years came from fundamentally social influences such
as rugby union.
So, today I want to address seven talking
points that deal with aspects of leadership, coaching and management.