Britain’s Labour Party has been besieged by
a continuous barrage of accusations alleging that the party is anti-Semitic; that
it is institutionally racist and that its leader is somehow turning a blind eye
to it.
This is a very serious and weighty
allegation, with potentially devastating implications.
So, what does this deluge of accusations of
anti-Semitism in the Labour Party tell us about racism in Britain and in British
politics?
Today I want to talk with you about energising
the Agile Way of Working brand.
Sadly, the Agile Way of Working movement
seems to be temporarily on the wane. The adoption rate of AWOW has not risen in
line with expectations. It’s stuck in the doldrums between Scylla and Charybdis.
Which makes for frowns all around.
But, me being me, I didn’t leave it at
that. That’s a challenge, right there! Let’s go for it! Let’s turn those frowns
upside-down
As result, I searched for a way to help the
Agile@Scale crowd out, and I eventually came up with ten amazing pieces of incredible
advice on how to easily make ‘Agile Way of Working’ truly something worth
having around.
So, here we have it:
First, change its name from the
Agile Way of Working to the Agile Way of Whacking Off (Agile WOWO), you know, a
touchy-feely way to “sex up” requirements. Bush and Blair style.
Epics will be referred to as
Dodgy Dossiers, User Stories will become Curated Jokes and Sprints will become Streaks.
People working on Streaks will
be known as Streakers, chapter members will be known as Schleppers and guild
members will be known as Schmucks, everyone else will be referred to as Bernie
or Helen.
Every morning Dodgy Dossier Owners
must repeat the term “Agile Operating Model” until they puke their
guts out.
All Scrum and Kanban boards are
be replaced with life-sized wack-a-mole models.
Only those kitted out as My Little
Pony or Princess Line can use coloured post-it notes.
Anyone caught using the names
Google, Spotify, Netflix or Zappos.com will be denied the oxygen of publicity.
Anyone evidenced repeating the terms
“by design”, “learning journey” and “minimum viable
product” will be denied the oxygen of oxygen.
Anyone caught using comic images
of rockets, astronauts or planets (including the sun) anywhere in their
“content” will be forever referred to as a feckin space-cadet.
If you can’t defecate rainbows on
demand then you have no right being involved in Agile at Scale or the Agile Way
of Whacking Off.
There you have it. Ten jolly and sensible
policies for a happy world of Agile at Scale and Agile WOWO.
Many thanks for reading,
This is Martyn Jones of goodstrat.com – THE
GOOD STRATEGY COMPANY
Until next time.
Contact me at martyn dot jones at goodstrat
dot com
To paraphrase the great Bob Hoffman. Just when you thought that if evangelists for Agile were to generate one more ounce of bullshit the entire fucking solar system would explode, what do they do? Exceed expectations.
And how did they do that? Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Agile at Scale with all the miscellaneous, spiced-up and vainglorious crap-on-the-side that accompanies it.
In my opinion, Brexit, any Brexit, could spell economic, political and social disaster for the UK. Brexit could ensure the demise of the Good Friday Agreement, with seriously damaging consequences. It could see the independence of Scotland – not necessarily a bad thing for Scotland, but yet another unintended consequence of Brexit. And, it could significantly deteriorate the rights and conditions of workers in the UK.
So, I wish to put a Brexit question to Jeremy Corbyn.
Will the working people in the UK be better off if the UK leaves the European Union?
Bornheim, Nordrhein-Westfalen, Germany – 25th August 2017
When you offer people all of the benefits of the single market and the customs union, but without any of the EU bureaucracy, constraints and costs, what happens?
We ran an experimental consultation last year in the UK just to demonstrate what happens when bat-shit-crazy mad-cow Britain has a chance to throw a spanner in the works. Some people will inevitably believe the boloney whilst others will use it as a mere tool in a simple-minded and obtuse attempt to rationalise their own irrationality and misanthropy. Nobody can throw a spanner in the works quite like the Brits.
The prevailing conventional wisdom is that innovative technologies and their novel use are having an effect on many peoples’ lives. Indeed, the fascination with the possibilities offered by social media, the internet and the age of data is becoming all pervasive. Of course, not all is goodness and light. Some aspects, such as Denial of Service attacks, phishing without a permit and creatively-ambiguous chimping, mark the down side of this story. Continue reading →
US liberals still don’t get it, do they? I was particularly unimpressed by The Guardian’s US correspondent, Richard Wolffe, who wrote this of Trump “He is the very man Hillary Clinton warned us that he would be.”
Like as if we really need the advice of an entitled and arrogant warmonger about any other unhinged member of the globalised political circus. Continue reading →
To paraphrase a famous quote, ‘Now is the time for all good MPs to come to the aid of the United Kingdom.’
Brexit is the enemy at the gate, the wolf at the door and the most significant threat to our collective future. This is our darkest hour of greatest need and Brexit must be stopped.
Martyn Ricard Jones
Martyn Richard Jones
Martyn Jones
Martyn Richard Jones
Martyn Richard Jones
Martyn Richard Jones