Brussels 7th June 2019
Martyn Richard Jones
By all accounts Hadoop is heading down the pan and bits of big data are not that far behind.
But should we rejoice?
Continue readingSaving Private Hadoop
07 Friday Jun 2019
Category Archives: The Amazing Big Data Challenge
What if the Hadoop Ecosphere Were a Box of Chocolates
12 Tuesday Dec 2017
Martyn Richard Jones
Gif sur Yvette, 12th December 2017
Just because it looks like a bunch of half-baked crap, based on some well shoddy ideas and made by a surfeit of half-arsed chancers, doesn’t mean that it is, does it…
Even though it is.
Sorry! But, I digress.
If the Hadoop ecosphere were a box of chocolates, it would come in fantastic packaging that would make the grandest of Belgian chocolatiers emerald green with envy.
The Bastards of Big Data: You can’t blame Putin for all of this bullshit
07 Saturday Oct 2017
Martyn Richard Jones
Gif sur Yvette 7th October 2017
In my life, I have never seen such a destructive and mindless movement in data architecture and management as that which has been nurtured, groomed and promoted by those who labour relentlessly, perfidiously and insidiously to ensure the continued and simultaneously unbelievable relevance of disruptive corporate-terrorising Big Data bullshitters, venomous data-oil hucksters and PowerPoint enabled know-nothing digital-arseholes. Continue reading
Business Data Explained: The Long Read
07 Saturday Oct 2017
Posted in 4th generation Data Warehousing, All Data, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, pig data, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians
Tags
Martyn Richard Jones, Gif sur Yvette 23rd September 2017
Hi, Friends. As always, it’s great to be able to engage with you again. I am writing to you from the splendorous, wooded and verdant French town of Gif sur Yvette, and I wanted to take this opportunity to address aspects of data for an audience beyond the interests of data management and architecture people.
There is confusion about some of the fundamental aspects of business data, and there shouldn’t. If we strip away all of the boloney, it’s a subject that is quite approachable. In short, ‘it is not rocket surgery’. Continue reading
5 Simple Tips to Help You Survive the Big Data Bullshit Revolution
02 Sunday Jul 2017
Posted in 4th generation Data Warehousing, All Data, Big Data, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, pig data, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians
Afilonius Rex
Dunny on the Wold, 1st July 2017
The 4th big data bullshit is here, and it is completely reimagining the way we conceptualise, think and reason. This amazingly and imaginary Govesque world is driven by hyperbole and mendacity distributed via interconnected digital devices that are capable of amassing and fermenting ever-growing amounts of big data bullshit.
Become an Instant Big Data Rock Star with 10 Insider Tips from the Top
28 Sunday May 2017
Posted in 4th generation Data Warehousing, All Data, Big Data, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, humour, pig data, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians
Martyn Richard Jones
Talacharn, 28th May 2017
Folks! Here I bring you ten amazing tips from some of Big Data’s great and good. Tips that will help you become the Big Data Rock Star that you have always dreamed of being.
But first, a question.
What’s the sexiest job in the 21st century? Continue reading
How to turn internal user data into a massive liability – Zéro pièce
18 Thursday May 2017
Posted in 4th generation Data Warehousing, All Data, Ask Martyn, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, business strategy, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Good Strat, Good Strategy, Good Strategy Radio, goodstrat, IT strategy, Marty does, Martyn does, Martyn Jones, Martyn Richard Jones, pig data, Strategy, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians
Martyn Richard Jones
Laugharne 18th May 2017
“Our discreditable secret is that we don’t know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don’t care that we don’t.”
― Dylan Thomas
Let me explain
I read a poster the other, it read “How To Turn Internal User Data Into Revenue”. It was one of those Facebook or LinkedIn hooks, you know, the ones used to get people to spend precious time on useless pursuits.
It reminded me of a book that my mother-in-law bought for my partner, many, many moons ago. “How to make a mint whilst you snooze”, or some such wacky title.
TEAM 2.0 Total Eminence Analytical Mapper – The highest level architecture
13 Saturday May 2017
Posted in 4th generation Data Warehousing, All Data, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, pig data, SMILES, TEAM, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians
This is the draft version of TEAM 0.1
The TEAM 2.0 version will be published in June 2017.
This will by far the best and most streamlined and comprehensive analytics and (big) data framework that has ever existed in the life-time of IT.
Many thanks for reading.
Data-Less Apps: Revolutionary IT
09 Tuesday May 2017
Posted in 4th generation Data Warehousing, All Data, Ask Martyn, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, business strategy, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, Good Strat, Good Strategy, Good Strategy Radio, goodstrat, IT strategy, Martyn does, Martyn Jones, Martyn Richard Jones, pig data, Strategy, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians
Martyn Richard Jones
Dublin 9th May 2017
Weighed down with data?
Inundated with information?
Overstrained with knowledge?
Intimidated by wisdom?
Don’t despair!
Relief from all of this is just be around the corner, in the shape of the next revolutionary inflection point in IT. Yes, as you might have guessed it by now. I am talking about data-less apps. Continue reading
Brand Aversion: Exhibit One
16 Sunday Apr 2017
Posted in 4th generation Data Warehousing, advertising, All Data, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, Marketing, pig data, Sales, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians
Tags
Martyn Richard Jones
San Luis Obispo 16th April 2017
Taking a Pop at Traditional Data Warehousing
Pitch: I recently read a report from a data visualisation company on the “Top Ten Big Data Trends for 2017”. This is what they told me “Hadoop is no longer just a batch-processing platform for data-science use cases. It has become a multi-purpose engine for ad hoc analysis. It’s even being used for operational reporting on day-to-day workloads—the kind traditionally handled by data warehouses.” Continue reading
