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Tag Archives: Corporate Jargon

HOW NOT TO: The Vacuum of Thought: Why AI-Powered Orbital Synergy is the Ultimate Catalyst for Your Synergy’s Synergy

09 Saturday May 2026

Posted by Martyn Rhisiart Jones in All Data, code of conduct, Consultation, data science, Dogma, European Union, Excellence, Inform, educate and entertain., poem, poems, Poetry, Politics, Public Integrity Record, Strategy, The Big Data Contrarians, The hidden wealth of nations, United Kingdom

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ai-hype, Artificial Intelligence, Corporate Jargon, Leadership Strategy, LinkedIn Culture, Space Tech, Tech Satire, Venture Capital

Martyn Rhisiart Jones

Madrid, Saturday 9th May 2026

Multi-faced figure with TV heads and clocks controlling puppet-like people amid flames and flags
Surreal depiction of a multi-faced figure controlling society with media and propaganda

The Vacuum of Thought: Why AI-Powered Orbital Synergy is the Ultimate Catalyst for Your Synergy’s Synergy

By Brandish Blather World-renowned Futurist, LinkedIn Legend, and Thought-Haver with a Passion for Synergising Technology for the Good of My Personal Brand.

The first time you experience the sheer, weightless emptiness of a venture capital pitch, everything changes. One moment, you’re grounded by the heavy, suffocating “hyper-G” of reality, things like “revenue,” “logic,” and “the laws of physics.” The next, all that noise disappears. You are floating in a perfect, silent void of pure, unadulterated hype.

That sense of transition isn’t just what happens when you’re strapped into a billionaire’s phallic hobby-rocket; it reflects a “Quantum Leap” in the Space-AI-Human-Potential-Sandwich™ economy. I recently sat down with Major Tad Mumbleton, a man who spent 400 days in orbit and now serves as the Chief Vibe Officer for Void-X, a company currently building inflatable habitats and AI-powered space-toasters that will absolutely, definitely reshape the way you eat sourdough on Earth.

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EXPLAIN THIS: THE SEMIOTICS OF THE ABYSS

06 Wednesday May 2026

Posted by Martyn Rhisiart Jones in All Data, code of conduct, Consultation, data science, Dogma, European Union, Excellence, Inform, educate and entertain., poem, poems, Poetry, Politics, Public Integrity Record, Strategy, The Big Data Contrarians, The hidden wealth of nations, United Kingdom

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business strategy, Corporate Governance, Corporate Jargon, Corporate Satire, data-strategy, Management Consulting, Startup Culture, Thought Leadership

Martyn Rhisiart Jones

Madrid, Wednesday 6th May 2026

THE SEMIOTICS OF THE ABYSS: WHY EVERY CHIEF EXTRACTION OFFICER NEEDS A BRAINVACUUM™ PROTOCOL

“The most expensive sequence of vowels I have ever been forced to endure.” – Kenny Meh


By Barnaby Squelch-Toad (Founding Partner at ShiteLogic™)

(Imagine, if you will, a man standing on a stage. He is wearing a suit that costs more than your house, but it’s tailored to make him look like a trendy geography teacher who’s just had a nervous breakdown in a Muji. He is pacing. He is doing that thing with his hands, the “invisible accordion”, that all these “thought leaders” do. This is the prose equivalent of that man.)

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HOW NOT TO: Why Every CEO Needs a ‘VoidLogic’ Strategy

06 Wednesday May 2026

Posted by Martyn Rhisiart Jones in All Data, code of conduct, Consultation, data science, Dogma, European Union, Excellence, Inform, educate and entertain., poem, poems, Poetry, Politics, Public Integrity Record, Strategy, The Big Data Contrarians, The hidden wealth of nations, United Kingdom

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Tags

AI Strategy, Artificial Intelligence, Corporate Jargon, Corporate Satire, Executive Leadership, LinkedIn Culture, Management Consulting, Tech Hype

Martyn Rhisiart Jones

Madrid, Wednesday 6th May 2026

Title: Why Every CEO Needs a ‘VoidLogic’ Strategy (Or: How to Successfully Set Your Building on Fire While Smiling for a Headshot)

By Barnaby Sludge (Disruption Architect, Thought-Gland Inflator, and Professional Vapor-Salesman)


THE LIVERPOOL SCREAM (In the style of ‘The Fat Scouser’)

Listen to me, you tight-suited, Peloton-humping, organic-kale-smoothie-shitting sacks of corporate offal! I was walking past a boardroom the other day, a room so full of expensive air and low-level sociopathy it’s technically classified as a vacuum, and I saw a CEO. A man whose only contribution to the human race is deciding which shade of “Grey Despair” to paint the staff toilets.

And what was he doing? He was crying! He was weeping hot, salty tears into his gold-plated iPad because he didn’t have a VoidLogic strategy!

He’s terrified! He’s heard the buzzwords! “Generative Rectification!” “Algorithmic Synergy!” He doesn’t know what they mean, but he knows if he doesn’t buy them, the other boys at the Yacht Club will laugh at his small, non-AI-integrated genitals! It’s a con, you clowns! It’s the digital equivalent of selling a magic bean to a man who’s already sold his house to buy a specialised bean-holding glove! It’s Barnaby Sludge, standing there in a suit made of woven press releases, shouting, “Give me your money, or the computer will come to your house and eat your pension!”

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SATURDAY GIG: The Great Transformation Race – 2026/05/02

02 Saturday May 2026

Posted by Martyn Rhisiart Jones in Inform, educate and entertain.

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Tags

AI Adoption, Artificial Intelligence, business strategy, Corporate Jargon, Digital Transformation, European Tech, LinkedIn Culture, Tech Satire

Ursula Rosenstein and Martyn Rhisiart Jones

Madrid, Saturday 2nd May 2026

Large vintage film reel on a beach with a digital wave and futuristic city skyline.
A vintage film reel rests on a beach as a digital wave crashes before a futuristic city skyline under the aurora borealis.

SATURDAY: The Great Transformation Race (Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Vapid LinkedIn Word-Salad of the Techno-Toffs)

I was reading LinkedIn the other day. I know. I know. It’s a cry for help. LinkedIn is the only place on the internet where people talk like they’ve been lobotomised by a McKinsey PowerPoint presentation and then fed through a shredder. It’s a digital business park where everyone is wearing an invisible lanyard and shouting “Synergy!” at a pigeon.

And there he was. Bernice Carr. The Bernice Carr. A man whose job title, “Strategic Business & Technology Advisor,” is basically Latin for “I possess a library of blasers and a subscription to ChatGPT, and I will use both to make you feel slightly anxious about things that don’t exist.”

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Understanding Data-Less Apps: The Future of IT

21 Sunday Dec 2025

Posted by Martyn Rhisiart Jones in All Data, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, business strategy, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, Good Strat, Good Strategy, Good Strategy Radio, goodstrat, Inform, educate and entertain., IT strategy, Martyn does, Martyn Jones, Martyn Richard Jones, pig data, Strategy, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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Tags

Artificial Intelligence, Big Data, Corporate Jargon, data-strategy, Enterprise Architecture, IT Consulting, Satire, Tech Satire

Image1Martyn Rhisiart Jones

Dublin 9th May 2017 –  revised 21st December 2025

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Big Data and the 7 Habits of a Highly Successful Catalan Sheepdog – Remastering for 2026

06 Monday Oct 2014

Posted by Martyn Rhisiart Jones in Big Data, Executive, Knowledge

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Tags

Big Data, Big Data Hype, Business Books, Corporate Jargon, data analytics, Satire, Strategy, Survivorship Bias, Tech Satire

Martyn Richard Jones

Remaster 2026

Hi, I’m Ricky Jonesy-Innit, boss of Becci Boo Investments.

Last week, we said goodbye to our best commodity trader.

He’d been with us for years.

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Understanding Building Scientific Value: A Homeowner’s Guide

14 Sunday Sep 2014

Posted by Martyn Rhisiart Jones in Snippet

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Tags

Corporate Jargon, Enterprise Architecture, IT Consulting, IT Failures, IT Governance, IT Strategy, Satire, Tech Satire

Twenty years ago, you wanted a new bathroom, so you hired a building contractor to come in and build a bathroom of your own design.

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