Tags
AI Strategy, Artificial Intelligence, Corporate Jargon, Corporate Satire, Executive Leadership, LinkedIn Culture, Management Consulting, Tech Hype
Martyn Rhisiart Jones
Madrid, Wednesday 6th May 2026
Title: Why Every CEO Needs a ‘VoidLogic’ Strategy (Or: How to Successfully Set Your Building on Fire While Smiling for a Headshot)
By Barnaby Sludge (Disruption Architect, Thought-Gland Inflator, and Professional Vapor-Salesman)
THE LIVERPOOL SCREAM (In the style of ‘The Fat Scouser’)
Listen to me, you tight-suited, Peloton-humping, organic-kale-smoothie-shitting sacks of corporate offal! I was walking past a boardroom the other day, a room so full of expensive air and low-level sociopathy it’s technically classified as a vacuum, and I saw a CEO. A man whose only contribution to the human race is deciding which shade of “Grey Despair” to paint the staff toilets.
And what was he doing? He was crying! He was weeping hot, salty tears into his gold-plated iPad because he didn’t have a VoidLogic strategy!
He’s terrified! He’s heard the buzzwords! “Generative Rectification!” “Algorithmic Synergy!” He doesn’t know what they mean, but he knows if he doesn’t buy them, the other boys at the Yacht Club will laugh at his small, non-AI-integrated genitals! It’s a con, you clowns! It’s the digital equivalent of selling a magic bean to a man who’s already sold his house to buy a specialised bean-holding glove! It’s Barnaby Sludge, standing there in a suit made of woven press releases, shouting, “Give me your money, or the computer will come to your house and eat your pension!”
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