Today I want to talk with you about energising
the Agile Way of Working brand.
Sadly, the Agile Way of Working movement
seems to be temporarily on the wane. The adoption rate of AWOW has not risen in
line with expectations. It’s stuck in the doldrums between Scylla and Charybdis.
Which makes for frowns all around.
But, me being me, I didn’t leave it at
that. That’s a challenge, right there! Let’s go for it! Let’s turn those frowns
upside-down
As result, I searched for a way to help the
Agile@Scale crowd out, and I eventually came up with ten amazing pieces of incredible
advice on how to easily make ‘Agile Way of Working’ truly something worth
having around.
So, here we have it:
First, change its name from the Agile Way of Working to the Agile Way of Whacking Off (Agile WOWO), you know, a touchy-feely way to “sex up” requirements. Bush and Blair style.
Epics will be referred to as Dodgy Dossiers, User Stories will become Curated Jokes and Sprints will become Streaks.
People working on Streaks will be known as Streakers, chapter members will be known as Schleppers and guild members will be known as Schmucks, everyone else will be referred to as Bernie or Helen.
Every morning Dodgy Dossier Owners must repeat the term “Agile Operating Model” until they puke their guts out.
All Scrum and Kanban boards are be replaced with life-sized wack-a-mole models.
Only those kitted out as My Little Pony or Princess Line can use coloured post-it notes.
Anyone caught using the names Google, Spotify, Netflix or Zappos.com will be denied the oxygen of publicity.
Anyone evidenced repeating the terms “by design”, “learning journey” and “minimum viable product” will be denied the oxygen of oxygen.
Anyone caught using comic images of rockets, astronauts or planets (including the sun) anywhere in their “content” will be forever referred to as a feckin space-cadet.
If you can’t defecate rainbows on demand then you have no right being involved in Agile at Scale or the Agile Way of Whacking Off.
There you have it. Ten jolly and sensible
policies for a happy world of Agile at Scale and Agile WOWO.
Many thanks for reading,
This is Martyn Jones of goodstrat.com – THE
GOOD STRATEGY COMPANY
Until next time.
Contact me at martyn dot jones at goodstrat
dot com
Just because it’s there, it doesn’t mean it has to be done. Just because you can, it doesn’t mean that you should. Just because you believe you are right, doesn’t mean that you are not wrong.
The prevailing conventional wisdom is that innovative technologies and their novel use are having an effect on many peoples’ lives. Indeed, the fascination with the possibilities offered by social media, the internet and the age of data is becoming all pervasive. Of course, not all is goodness and light. Some aspects, such as Denial of Service attacks, phishing without a permit and creatively-ambiguous chimping, mark the down side of this story. Continue reading →
To paraphrase a famous quote, ‘Now is the time for all good MPs to come to the aid of the United Kingdom.’
Brexit is the enemy at the gate, the wolf at the door and the most significant threat to our collective future. This is our darkest hour of greatest need and Brexit must be stopped.
Either way, one thing is for sure. Brexit is the most revealing, significant and catastrophic episode of irrational, self-harming and bloody-minded lunacy in the entire history of the British Isles.
But, why did it turn out that way?
What drove so many people to vote for far greater risk, uncertainty about the future and the rejection of the stability, presence and influence that we have within the EU?
“Knowledge is the capacity to give correct answers to questions.”
“There is no well trodden path that takes a straight line from symbols, through data to knowledge and wisdom. This is just some nonsense invented by the IT industry.” – Martyn Jones
We may define data as being the symbolic representation of value or conversely of something which has no attached value. Data may represent, among other things, time, money, resources or worldly objects.
“Our discreditable secret is that we don’t know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don’t care that we don’t.”
― Dylan Thomas
Let me explain
I read a poster the other, it read “How To Turn Internal User Data Into Revenue”. It was one of those Facebook or LinkedIn hooks, you know, the ones used to get people to spend precious time on useless pursuits.
It reminded me of a book that my mother-in-law bought for my partner, many, many moons ago. “How to make a mint whilst you snooze”, or some such wacky title.
Relief from all of this is just be around the corner, in the shape of the next revolutionary inflection point in IT. Yes, as you might have guessed it by now. I am talking about data-less apps. Continue reading →
In this week’s episode of ‘Putin the Bootin…’ Big Data Gurus…! Yep! Hold this thought…
There are no Big Data gurus.
THERE ARE NO BIG DATA GURUS!
T H E R E . . . A R E . . . N O . . . B I G . . . D A T A . . . G U R U S !
Call these unscrupulous wide-boys what you like, but, in any reasonable sense, when it comes to the Big Data enchilada, the unhelpful clowns who flog fake news, vulgar hype and vain-glorious exaggeration, are not gurus, of any way, shape or form. Continue reading →
Martyn Rhisiart Jones
Martyn Richard Jones
Martyn Richard Jones
Martyn Richard Jones
Martyn Jones
