The data warehouse is the repository for the post-transactional data
Martyn Richard Jones
Saintes 20th March 2023
Narrator: As much as I love the work of some celebrated buffoons, fools and jesters with imagination, there are some areas that they should not be allowed to invade without adequate supervision being in place.
Dud: Pete,why do people talk such complete and utter unsubstantiated poll tax?
Today I want to talk with you about energising
the Agile Way of Working brand.
Sadly, the Agile Way of Working movement
seems to be temporarily on the wane. The adoption rate of AWOW has not risen in
line with expectations. It’s stuck in the doldrums between Scylla and Charybdis.
Which makes for frowns all around.
But, me being me, I didn’t leave it at
that. That’s a challenge, right there! Let’s go for it! Let’s turn those frowns
As result, I searched for a way to help the
Agile@Scale crowd out, and I eventually came up with ten amazing pieces of incredible
advice on how to easily make ‘Agile Way of Working’ truly something worth
So, here we have it:
First, change its name from the
Agile Way of Working to the Agile Way of Whacking Off (Agile WOWO), you know, a
touchy-feely way to “sex up” requirements. Bush and Blair style.
Epics will be referred to as
Dodgy Dossiers, User Stories will become Curated Jokes and Sprints will become Streaks.
People working on Streaks will
be known as Streakers, chapter members will be known as Schleppers and guild
members will be known as Schmucks, everyone else will be referred to as Bernie
Every morning Dodgy Dossier Owners
must repeat the term “Agile Operating Model” until they puke their
All Scrum and Kanban boards are
be replaced with life-sized wack-a-mole models.
Only those kitted out as My Little
Pony or Princess Line can use coloured post-it notes.
Anyone caught using the names
Google, Spotify, Netflix or Zappos.com will be denied the oxygen of publicity.
Anyone evidenced repeating the terms
“by design”, “learning journey” and “minimum viable
product” will be denied the oxygen of oxygen.
Anyone caught using comic images
of rockets, astronauts or planets (including the sun) anywhere in their
“content” will be forever referred to as a feckin space-cadet.
If you can’t defecate rainbows on
demand then you have no right being involved in Agile at Scale or the Agile Way
of Whacking Off.
There you have it. Ten jolly and sensible
policies for a happy world of Agile at Scale and Agile WOWO.
Many thanks for reading,
This is Martyn Jones of goodstrat.com – THE
GOOD STRATEGY COMPANY
Until next time.
Contact me at martyn dot jones at goodstrat