Category Archives: The Big Data Contrarians

Data must adapt or die!

03 Wed Jul 2019

Posted by in All Data, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, Inform, educate and entertain., pig data, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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Martyn Richard Jones

Our bloke in Brussels, 3rd July 2019

It’s a simple, timeless, human truth; data must adapt or die.

Read between the lines, the writing on the wall, the fat lady singing and the barking dogs at the gate.

Continue reading →

Faking It – Data, media and manipulation

12 Sun May 2019

Posted by in Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, Cambridge Analytica, Inform, educate and entertain., media, Social Media, The Big Data Contrarians

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Martyn Richard Jones

Brussels, 12th May 2019

It has recently been revealed that political campaigns are taking the unprecedented step of hiring the services of consulting companies that will assist them in reaching, convincing and influencing voters.

This is a scandalous abuse of power, privilege and technology.

Big Data and data science are being used on a massive scale to manipulate political elections, control voter behaviour and to undermine constitutional democracy and the rule of law.  There is no doubt about this; I read it on the internet. Continue reading →

What if the Hadoop Ecosphere Were a Box of Chocolates

12 Tue Dec 2017

Posted by in Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, hadoop, Inform, educate and entertain., The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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Martyn Richard Jones

Gif sur Yvette, 12th December 2017

Just because it looks like a bunch of half-baked crap, based on some well shoddy ideas and made by a surfeit of half-arsed chancers, doesn’t mean that it is, does it…

Even though it is.

Sorry! But, I digress.

If the Hadoop ecosphere were a box of chocolates, it would come in fantastic packaging that would make the grandest of Belgian chocolatiers emerald green with envy.

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The Bastards of Big Data: You can’t blame Putin for all of this bullshit

07 Sat Oct 2017

Posted by in Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, Inform, educate and entertain., The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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Image4Martyn Richard Jones

Gif sur Yvette 7th October 2017

In my life, I have never seen such a destructive and mindless movement in data architecture and management as that which has been nurtured, groomed and promoted by those who labour relentlessly, perfidiously and insidiously to ensure the continued and simultaneously unbelievable relevance of disruptive corporate-terrorising Big Data bullshitters, venomous data-oil hucksters and PowerPoint enabled know-nothing digital-arseholes. Continue reading →

Business Data Explained: The Long Read

07 Sat Oct 2017

Posted by in All Data, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, Inform, educate and entertain., pig data, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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Martyn Richard Jones, Gif sur Yvette 23rd September 2017

Integrity

Hi, Friends. As always, it’s great to be able to engage with you again. I am writing to you from the splendorous, wooded and verdant French town of Gif sur Yvette, and I wanted to take this opportunity to address aspects of data for an audience beyond the interests of data management and architecture people.

There is confusion about some of the fundamental aspects of business data, and there shouldn’t. If we strip away all of the boloney, it’s a subject that is quite approachable. In short, ‘it is not rocket surgery’. Continue reading →

5 Simple Tips to Help You Survive the Big Data Bullshit Revolution

02 Sun Jul 2017

Posted by in All Data, Big Data, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, Inform, educate and entertain., pig data, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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Image1Afilonius Rex

Dunny on the Wold, 1st July 2017

The 4th big data bullshit is here, and it is completely reimagining the way we conceptualise, think and reason. This amazingly and imaginary Govesque world is driven by hyperbole and mendacity distributed via interconnected digital devices that are capable of amassing and fermenting ever-growing amounts of big data bullshit.

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Become an Instant Big Data Rock Star with 10 Insider Tips from the Top

28 Sun May 2017

Posted by in All Data, Big Data, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, humour, Inform, educate and entertain., pig data, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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002Martyn Richard Jones  

Talacharn, 28th May 2017

Folks! Here I bring you ten amazing tips from some of Big Data’s great and good. Tips that will help you become the Big Data Rock Star that you have always dreamed of being.

But first, a question.

What’s the sexiest job in the 21st century? Continue reading →

How to turn internal user data into a massive liability – Zéro pièce

18 Thu May 2017

Posted by in All Data, Ask Martyn, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, business strategy, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Good Strat, Good Strategy, Good Strategy Radio, goodstrat, Inform, educate and entertain., IT strategy, Marty does, Martyn does, Martyn Jones, Martyn Richard Jones, pig data, Strategy, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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Martyn Richard Jones

Laugharne 18th May 2017

“Our discreditable secret is that we don’t know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don’t care that we don’t.”

― Dylan Thomas

Let me explain

I read a poster the other, it read “How To Turn Internal User Data Into Revenue”. It was one of those Facebook or LinkedIn hooks, you know, the ones used to get people to spend precious time on useless pursuits.

It reminded me of a book that my mother-in-law bought for my partner, many, many moons ago. “How to make a mint whilst you snooze”, or some such wacky title.

Continue reading →

TEAM 2.0 Total Eminence Analytical Mapper – The highest level architecture

13 Sat May 2017

Posted by in All Data, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, Inform, educate and entertain., pig data, SMILES, TEAM, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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This is the draft version of TEAM 0.1

The TEAM 2.0 version will be published in June 2017.

This will by far the best and most streamlined and comprehensive analytics and (big) data framework that has ever existed in the life-time of IT.

TEAM2

Many thanks for reading.