Martyn Rhisiart Jones

Spain, 2nd November 2025

And So It Begins

Five years ago, I wrote a piece called Bullshit at the Data Lakehouse, which caused quite a bit of a stir on social media, so I’m taking this opportunity to revisit it and revise it and to offer it as a historical reference with ramifications for today and the future.

My piece began in this spirit and then progressed rapidly.

Move over, big data hubris, data mesh revisionism, and data lake stupidity, there’s a newer, thicker and far bigger arsehole on the block. And it goes by the unbelievably idiotic name of data lakehouse. It is being hailed as a new paradigm, but in reality, it is a naive, dishonest, and disruptive fraud. So what’s occurring?

The gutter-snipes, hustlers and useless pundits who failed to make big data and data lakes the success of the 2010s have set their vulture-eyed sights on data warehousing. It’s not smart, it is not funny, and it does no one any service.