Category Archives: The Amazing Big Data Challenge

The Bastards of Big Data: You can’t blame Putin for all of this bullshit

07 Sat Oct 2017

Posted by in Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, Inform, educate and entertain., The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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Image4Martyn Richard Jones

Gif sur Yvette 7th October 2017

In my life, I have never seen such a destructive and mindless movement in data architecture and management as that which has been nurtured, groomed and promoted by those who labour relentlessly, perfidiously and insidiously to ensure the continued and simultaneously unbelievable relevance of disruptive corporate-terrorising Big Data bullshitters, venomous data-oil hucksters and PowerPoint enabled know-nothing digital-arseholes. Continue reading →

Business Data Explained: The Long Read

07 Sat Oct 2017

Posted by in All Data, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, Inform, educate and entertain., pig data, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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Martyn Richard Jones, Gif sur Yvette 23rd September 2017

Integrity

Hi, Friends. As always, it’s great to be able to engage with you again. I am writing to you from the splendorous, wooded and verdant French town of Gif sur Yvette, and I wanted to take this opportunity to address aspects of data for an audience beyond the interests of data management and architecture people.

There is confusion about some of the fundamental aspects of business data, and there shouldn’t. If we strip away all of the boloney, it’s a subject that is quite approachable. In short, ‘it is not rocket surgery’. Continue reading →

5 Simple Tips to Help You Survive the Big Data Bullshit Revolution

02 Sun Jul 2017

Posted by in All Data, Big Data, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, Inform, educate and entertain., pig data, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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Image1Afilonius Rex

Dunny on the Wold, 1st July 2017

The 4th big data bullshit is here, and it is completely reimagining the way we conceptualise, think and reason. This amazingly and imaginary Govesque world is driven by hyperbole and mendacity distributed via interconnected digital devices that are capable of amassing and fermenting ever-growing amounts of big data bullshit.

Continue reading →

Become an Instant Big Data Rock Star with 10 Insider Tips from the Top

28 Sun May 2017

Posted by in All Data, Big Data, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, humour, Inform, educate and entertain., pig data, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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002Martyn Richard Jones  

Talacharn, 28th May 2017

Folks! Here I bring you ten amazing tips from some of Big Data’s great and good. Tips that will help you become the Big Data Rock Star that you have always dreamed of being.

But first, a question.

What’s the sexiest job in the 21st century? Continue reading →

How to turn internal user data into a massive liability – Zéro pièce

18 Thu May 2017

Posted by in All Data, Ask Martyn, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, business strategy, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Good Strat, Good Strategy, Good Strategy Radio, goodstrat, Inform, educate and entertain., IT strategy, Marty does, Martyn does, Martyn Jones, Martyn Richard Jones, pig data, Strategy, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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Martyn Richard Jones

Laugharne 18th May 2017

“Our discreditable secret is that we don’t know anything at all, and our horrid inner secret is that we don’t care that we don’t.”

― Dylan Thomas

Let me explain

I read a poster the other, it read “How To Turn Internal User Data Into Revenue”. It was one of those Facebook or LinkedIn hooks, you know, the ones used to get people to spend precious time on useless pursuits.

It reminded me of a book that my mother-in-law bought for my partner, many, many moons ago. “How to make a mint whilst you snooze”, or some such wacky title.

Continue reading →

TEAM 2.0 Total Eminence Analytical Mapper – The highest level architecture

13 Sat May 2017

Posted by in All Data, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, Inform, educate and entertain., pig data, SMILES, TEAM, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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This is the draft version of TEAM 0.1

The TEAM 2.0 version will be published in June 2017.

This will by far the best and most streamlined and comprehensive analytics and (big) data framework that has ever existed in the life-time of IT.

TEAM2

Many thanks for reading.

Data-Less Apps: Revolutionary IT

09 Tue May 2017

Posted by in All Data, Ask Martyn, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, business strategy, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, Good Strat, Good Strategy, Good Strategy Radio, goodstrat, Inform, educate and entertain., IT strategy, Martyn does, Martyn Jones, Martyn Richard Jones, pig data, Strategy, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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Image1Martyn Richard Jones

Dublin 9th May 2017

Weighed down with data?

Inundated with information?

Overstrained with knowledge?

Intimidated by wisdom?

Don’t despair!

Relief from all of this is just be around the corner, in the shape of the next revolutionary inflection point in IT. Yes, as you might have guessed it by now. I am talking about data-less apps. Continue reading →

Brand Aversion: Exhibit One

16 Sun Apr 2017

Posted by in advertising, All Data, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, Inform, educate and entertain., Marketing, pig data, Sales, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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Martyn Richard Jones

San Luis Obispo 16th April 2017

La-mode-sur-tous-les-tableauxTaking a Pop at Traditional Data Warehousing

Pitch: I recently read a report from a data visualisation company on the “Top Ten Big Data Trends for 2017”. This is what they told me “Hadoop is no longer just a batch-processing platform for data-science use cases. It has become a multi-purpose engine for ad hoc analysis. It’s even being used for operational reporting on day-to-day workloads—the kind traditionally handled by data warehouses.” Continue reading →

Big Dummies for Data

15 Sat Apr 2017

Posted by in All Data, Ask Martyn, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, Inform, educate and entertain., Marty does, Martyn does, Martyn Jones, Martyn Richard Jones, pig data, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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Martyn Jones

Madrid 25th January 2017

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HERE’S A THOUGHT! In the past age of big iron, the only reason for not having a proliferation of duplicated databases was the prohibitively high cost of disk storage. Now, we can let our database collections grow ‘like Topsy’. This is the Brave New World of data… apparently…

Let’s, for one moment, be the fly-guy on the corporate wall. What are we picking up on the radar there, Enda? Oh, yes…

Continue reading →

Hadoop’s Revolutionary Data Warehouse

15 Sat Apr 2017

Posted by in All Data, Ask Martyn, Big Data, Big Data 7s, Big Data Analytics, business strategy, dark data, data architecture, Data governance, Data Lake, data management, Data Mart, data science, Data Supply Framework, Data Warehouse, Data Warehousing, Good Strat, Good Strategy, goodstrat, Inform, educate and entertain., IT strategy, Martyn does, Martyn Jones, Martyn Richard Jones, pig data, Strategy, The Amazing Big Data Challenge, The Big Data Contrarians

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Martyn Richard Jones

Baile Átha Cliath

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

2017 Martyn Richard Jones

It’s Easter in Baile Átha Cliath, and thoughts naturally turn to purple-shrouded, sombre-shadowed and mystical aspects of bereavement, resurrection and bunnies.

Which may go some way to explain why people come up to me in the street, and apropos of nothing, ask me about what is the biggest reason why Data Warehousing projects fail.

Try as I might, I cannot convince people that the reasons I give have any validity. It’s as if the mundaneness of the stupidity involved in these failures is just too frivolous, banal and immature as to be believable or even worth listening to.

Continue reading →