Author Archives: Martyn Jones

Energising the Agile Way of Working brand and mindset

10 Mon Jun 2019

Posted by in agile, agile way of working, agile@scale, business strategy, Good Strategy, Good Strategy Radio, IT strategy, Strategy

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On my way to Léon

Martyn Richard Jones

Brussels 10th June 2019

Today I want to talk with you about energising the Agile Way of Working brand.

Sadly, the Agile Way of Working movement seems to be temporarily on the wane. The adoption rate of AWOW has not risen in line with expectations. It’s stuck in the doldrums between Scylla and Charybdis. Which makes for frowns all around.

But, me being me, I didn’t leave it at that. That’s a challenge, right there! Let’s go for it! Let’s turn those frowns upside-down

As result, I searched for a way to help the Agile@Scale crowd out, and I eventually came up with ten amazing pieces of incredible advice on how to easily make ‘Agile Way of Working’ truly something worth having around.

So, here we have it:

  1. First, change its name from the
    Agile Way of Working to the Agile Way of Whacking Off (Agile WOWO), you know, a
    touchy-feely way to “sex up” requirements. Bush and Blair style.
  2. Epics will be referred to as
    Dodgy Dossiers, User Stories will become Curated Jokes and Sprints will become Streaks.
  3. People working on Streaks will
    be known as Streakers, chapter members will be known as Schleppers and guild
    members will be known as Schmucks, everyone else will be referred to as Bernie
    or Helen.
  4. Every morning Dodgy Dossier Owners
    must repeat the term “Agile Operating Model” until they puke their
    guts out.
  5. All Scrum and Kanban boards are
    be replaced with life-sized wack-a-mole models.
  6. Only those kitted out as My Little
    Pony or Princess Line can use coloured post-it notes.
  7. Anyone caught using the names
    Google, Spotify, Netflix or Zappos.com will be denied the oxygen of publicity.
  8. Anyone evidenced repeating the terms
    “by design”, “learning journey” and “minimum viable
    product” will be denied the oxygen of oxygen.
  9. Anyone caught using comic images
    of rockets, astronauts or planets (including the sun) anywhere in their
    “content” will be forever referred to as a feckin space-cadet.
  10. If you can’t defecate rainbows on
    demand then you have no right being involved in Agile at Scale or the Agile Way
    of Whacking Off.

There you have it. Ten jolly and sensible policies for a happy world of Agile at Scale and Agile WOWO.

Many thanks for reading,

This is Martyn Jones of goodstrat.com – THE GOOD STRATEGY COMPANY

Until next time.

Contact me at martyn dot jones at goodstrat dot com

STRAIGHT TALK: Hadoop is sinking because big data is bullshit

04 Tue Jun 2019

Posted by in Inform, educate and entertain.

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Martyn Jones
El Jueves y la Puta Mili
El Jueves y la Puta Mili

Martyn Richard Jones

Bruxelles 4th June 2018

The Big Data bullshit well was always going to run dry. They didn’t believe me.

Now it’s very clear.

They were wrong. I was right. I told them so.  

Gloat? Me? Why, hell yeah!

I am laughing at the shameless and opportunistic fools, charlatans and chancers of Big Data and the Hadoop ecosphere, because it’s the very least they deserve.

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Leadership 7s – Episode 1 – S01E01

03 Mon Jun 2019

Posted by in business strategy, Good Strategy, Information Management, IT strategy, leadership, Leadership 7s, Management, project management

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Leadership 7s S01E01

This is the first in a series of management talking points. The name Leadership 7s has been influenced by the great game of rugby, which is was the emblematic game of my youth and a passion of the home country of my Mom and Dad, Wales.

In fact, much of what I learned about leadership in my formative years came from fundamentally social influences such as rugby union.

So, today I want to address seven talking points that deal with aspects of leadership, coaching and management.

STRAIGHT TALK: Agile at Scale is Bullshit by Design

28 Tue May 2019

Posted by in agile, agile@scale, All Data, Architecture, Assets, awareness, behaviour, business strategy, Creativity, Dogma, IT strategy, Strategy, structured intellectual capital, Value

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cropped-p4010326.jpgMartyn Richard Jones

Bruxelles 28th May 2019

To begin at the beginning

To paraphrase the great Bob Hoffman. Just when you thought that if evangelists for Agile were to generate one more ounce of bullshit the entire fucking solar system would explode, what do they do? Exceed expectations.

And how did they do that? Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Agile at Scale with all the miscellaneous, spiced-up and vainglorious crap-on-the-side that accompanies it.

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IT’S POLITICS: Why Labour Must Reject Brexit: Six Key Electoral Demographics

27 Mon May 2019

Posted by in anthropology, Brexit, Economics, Europe, European Union, leadership, Philosophy, Politics, UK

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003Martyn Martyn Richard Jones

Bruxelles 27th May 2019

My post-EU election advice to the UK Labour Party leadership

As I commented to Keir Starmer today “Labour are making a fundamental mistake and it ain’t working, Keir”.

Labour’s approach to Brexit is completely the wrong strategy and it’s doing nobody (apart from Nigel Farage) any favours. No Brexit will benefit the immense majority of the country, we know that, and we know that the EU is not going to cut a better deal for anyone, regardless of their political flavour, because that’s just the way it is.

Like it or loath it, but, Theresa May probably struck the best Brexit deal that the UK can aspire to, and it was roundly rejected, for various reasons, by Westminster. No, the best Brexit deal is no Brexit at all.

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UK PM May resigns amidst “departure means departure” fracas

25 Sat May 2019

Posted by in Inform, educate and entertain.

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Picture6

Martyn Richard Jones

Brussels 25th May 2019

If the resignation of Theresa May has taught us something it is that we can’t be taught anything. Yes, May has resigned as leader of the Tories, but is she capable of delivering her actual departure from Downing Street on time in the way she seems to be saying she will? And, do the Tory MPs and their supporters actually know what departure from Downing Street really looks like? Does departure mean departure? Should it be a hard or soft departure? A crash out departure or a negotiated departure? Or, should we all have another vote on it? Or perhaps that would be undemocratic and against the “will of the people”?

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