02 Sat Jan 2016
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.” – Steve Jobs Continue reading
22 Tue Dec 2015
If this piece tickles your fancy, then please consider joining The Big Data Contrarians on LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/groups/8338976
Every year I ask myself the same question. Will there be any tangible, coherent and verifiable Big Data success stories in the coming year? Every year I come up with nothing. Nothing at all. “Sorry, no rooms at the Big Data Success Inn, as we are closed for vacations.”
However, this year things are different. More positive, more alive and more fantastic. Continue reading
10 Thu Dec 2015
MARTYN RICHARD JONES
Despite the best efforts of Hadoop evangelists, consulting houses, and IT infrastructure and service vendors, Big Data – hailed as the greatest thing since the dawn of greatest things – is failing, and dramatically so, to produce the necessarily corresponding quantity and quality of tangible, detailed and verifiable success stories.
Continue reading
07 Mon Dec 2015
Tags
First things first. The Big Data Contrarians (“a hype free Agora for Big Data dialogue”) is now a community of over one thousand professionals. Continue reading
07 Mon Dec 2015
Tags
Towards the end of 2014 I gazed into the amazingly incredible crystal ball called Good Strategy, well known and admired by the readers of the Good Strat Blog, and made some predictions about Big Data for the year to come. The year of the goat. As I write now we are reaching the end of the wonderful year of 2015 – an anno quite-allrightus. So, equipped with good cheer, emboldened by the thoughts of passing the vacations with loved ones, friends and family, and heartened by my impending (albeit temporary) demobilization, I have decided to look back at my predictions of a year ago, to see how accurate or mistaken they ‘have become’, and to share those reflections with you. Continue reading
05 Sat Dec 2015
Nauseated by the non-stop crap, railroading and bullying tactics from a reduced group of snotty little techno bastards? Disgusted by the crass propaganda, crude instrumentalisation and fetid boloney from the likes of Bernie, Vinnie, Spats and an attendant entourage of snake-oil merchants and brain-dead sycophants? Sick and tired of the amazing, incredible and fabulous velocities, varieties and volumes of Big Data bullshit washing the decks of the SS LinkedIn? Well, be sick and tired no longer. Here is the antidote!
Some interesting Big Data facts to think about this weekend.
I. More Big Data bullshit has been created in the last couple of years, than in the entire history of humankind.
II. Big Data bullshit will grow faster than ever before, in spite of what Gartner say to the contrary.
III. By 2021, if the mega-trending nonsense does not go unabated, there will be 40 megabytes of Big Data bullshit created for every living woman, man and child, every sixty seconds.
IV. Also, in 2021 the accumulated digital universe of Big Data bullshit will grow from 8 spartabytes to 22 marrsabytes.
V. Every second people are thinking about creating new Big Data bullshit. For example, 20 million search queries alone (per minute) are generated with the sole intent of creating even more Big Data bullshit. This is set to grow to over 100 thousand brazilian bulslhit queries per year by 2020.
VI. Every minute an estimated 280 hours of Big Data oriented porn is uploaded to the ‘next greatest thing since sliced bread and butter pudding‘ network.
VII. By 2017 over 1 trillion Big Data bullshitters will be connected via Facebook.
VIII. Facebook usage by Big Data bullshitters will make the current social media scene look like a walk in the bullring.
IX. In 2015, an astounding 1 million trolleyloads of photos were uploaded to the web every single hour of the day. By 2017, nearly 80% of photos taken will include a cameo by one or more smartass Big Data bullshit artist.
X. This year, over 4 billion smartass Big Data bullshitters will be shipped – all packed with communication devices capable of collecting and communicating all kinds of Big Data bullshit, not to mention the Big Data bullshit the amazing Big Data babblers create themselves.
XI. By 2020, we will have over 8 billion Big Data idiot savants (overtaking sentient and rational human beings).
XII. Within five years there will be over 5 billion Big Data smartasses connected in the world, all developed to collect, analyze and share Big Data bullshit.
XIII. By 2020, at least a third of all Big Data bullshit will pass through the bullshit cloud (a network of Big Data bullshit servers connected over the Big Data bullshit Internet).
XIV. Distributed Big Data bullshitting (performing Big Data bullshitting tasks using a network of computers in the cloud) is very real. Google uses it every day to involve about 10 Big Data bullshitters in answering a single search query, which takes no more that 0.2 weeks to complete.
XV. The Hadoop Bullshit Ecosystem (open bullshit software for distributed bullshitting) market is forecast to grow at a compound annual growth rate 299,258% surpassing $111 billion by 2021.
XVI. Estimates suggest that by better integrating Big Data bullshit, we could save as much as $300Bn a year on smoking, drinking and having a wild time. That’s equal to reducing costs by $1000000 a year for every person on earth.
XVII. The White House, who first recognized Big Data as the bullshit it is, has already invested more than $200 in big data bullshit projects.
XVIII. For an archetypal Fortune 1000 company, just a 10% increase in data accessibility will result in more than $650 billion additional net income.
XIX. Retailers who leverage the full power of big data could increase their operating margins by as much as 36,660%
XX. 173% of organizations have already invested or plan to invest in big data bullshit by 2099.
Many thanks for reading. Think about it. I hope you get the message.
01 Tue Dec 2015
The Digital Document Lifecycle
MARTYN RICHARD JONES
This is a story of the life of a digital document. Its purpose is to explain the process of analysing, designing, building, testing and delivering content rich business artefacts in today’s digital age.
23 Mon Nov 2015
Having got your attention I would like to introduce you to a pragmatic, real-world and business centric approach to Big Data and Big Data Analytics. When I say that this is the best approach to Big Data you are ever likely to find in the whole universe and in your entire life, I am still significantly understating the magnificent utility, timeliness and the here-and-now facets of the approach. Continue reading
22 Sun Nov 2015
Posted in Banking, Uncategorized
Welcome to the new kid on the block, same as the old kid but sharper, tougher and even more relevant to business than before. Who can it be, what do we call her and where does she live?
Well here’s a surprise. The newcomer is none other than the 4th generation of Enterprise Data Warehousing. Ready and prepared to elevate Big Data, Analytics and an accompanying wealth of must-have data accessories to the dizzying heights of value-adding, business-changing and stakeholder-pleasing usefulness, utility and usability.
Read the full article on the IT Circus blog hosted by IT World: http://www.itworld.com/article/3006473/big-data/what-can-data-warehousing-do-for-us-now.html
17 Tue Nov 2015
Many people come up to me in the street and beg me to write about the truths, myths and unwise things said about Big Data. I am offered gifts of goats, partners and riches beyond the dreams of avarice just to pronounce on such things. I am not in the habit of bowing to such street-pressure, but I have finally come round to doing something, if only to placate the river of rose-petal bearing infants’ tears flowing past my abode.
GOOD STRATEGY 