A smartphone surrounded by numerous social media posts and like icons, depicting digital interaction
Martyn Rhisiart Jones
Madrid Thursday 9th April 2026
Right. LinkedIn.
You know, I was thinking about this the other day, or rather, I was forced to think about it because some algorithm had decided that what I really needed at 7:42 in the morning, while I was still half-asleep and trying to remember why I exist, was yet another notification telling me that Kevin from Supply Chain Optimisation had “viewed my profile.”
Here’s a brutal, no-holds-barred blog post from Sir Afilonius Rex, titled “The Perpetual Victim: How Professional Martyrdom Became the Most Lucrative Career on Earth”
Intro Before the Outro
At 3.17 a.m. I published a short, unsparing blog post. It argues that victimhood has been quietly professionalised into the highest-return occupation of our age. This occupation is tax-efficient, prestige-laden, and entirely unregulated. The returns are eye-watering. You can create a Substack and give a few tearful keynotes at $75,000 each. Add an NGO advisory seat at a quarter-million a year, and you can clear eight figures without ever producing anything. All you need is carefully calibrated distress. The raw material – historical or borrowed suffering – is free, non-depletable, and impossible to audit. There are three leading operators. The Hereditary Victim sees trauma as a trust fund. The Borrowed Victim deals with suffering leased by the aesthetically oppressed. The State-Level Victim acts like a sovereign wealth fund with an air force. The business model has one iron law: the grievance must never be resolved, or the revenue dies. Hence the goalposts are not moved; they are towed into the sea at dead of night. In the victimhood Olympics, gold medals are cast from everyone else’s corpses. That is the entire thesis. The rest is accounting.
Full-Private Number-One in the Awkward Squad of the rank and file of life was Sloppy, and yet had his glimmering notions of standing true to the Colours.
Charles Dickens, Our Mutual Friend
I am a sceptic, part of the awkward squad of troublemakers.
The awkward squad consists of people who ask questions and who won’t stop asking until they arrive at the crux of the matter.
The awkward squad won’t take bullshit for an answer.
The awkward squad are unquestioningly not pre-programmed to follow specific paths.
“I was a fool and what i’ve seen has made me two fools.”
Rafael Alberti, Spanish poet
Friends, Europeans, and fellow citizens, it’s time that we all spoke out against wrongdoing, criminality, and impunity. It’s time we took a stand against injustice wherever we find it. And it’s time to say that enough is enough.
Dud: Pete, did data exist before data warehousing?
Pete: Yes, and tea and hot water. And the only social media platform available to dizzy gobshites was the local boozer.
What on earth have you been listening to, Dud.
Dud: There was this prize eejit on an industry blog saying that data used to mean data warehouses but that it doesn’t anymore.
Pete: Oh, no. Insufferable countenance, Dud.
Dud: I can’t be having it.
Pete: Don’t give in, Dud. Stay and fight the good fight.
Dud: Fancy a beer?
Pete: Okay.
Dud: Here you go. Cheers!
Pete: So, cheers to that too. And now, where to begin? Ah, now I’ve got it.
The problem is, Dud, that many of these ill-informed blog jockeys think that data warehousing is like a car and that to improve it, you have to build a bigger and better car, or in other words, a bigger and better data warehouse.
Dud: Makes a lot of sense, Pete. But could we elaborate on that?
Pete: Look at it this way, Dud, we might buy a car because we want to impress our neighbours and friends, but the whole idea of getting a car is usually to have something that will help us to get from A to B and back again, safely, cost-effectively and without driving us insane.
The car is a significant part of the means, but there is much more to it.
Dud: I see.
Pete: The car is just part of the analogy, Dud. There is a whole raft of things that can be included in our journey from A to B, including the automotive technology used in the car; the streets, roads and highways; the bridges; the tunnels; the parking places; the fuel or energy; the driving skills; the rules, regulations and best principles; the Police; the guarantees; the training, coaching and continuous learning; the certification; the navigation system; the in-vehicle entertainment; the trailer, caravan or bike rack; the triangles, the yellow jacket and the warning lights you can place on the vehicle if it has broken down; the breakdown and recovery services; public healthy facilities; the hospitality outlets; the pedestrians; the other vehicle drivers; the other cars; livestock on the road; wild animals; the weather; rain, snow, ice and high winds; the gas stations or electric supply points; anti-freeze, oil and windscreen cleaner; and, the passive and active security. And that’s just off the top of my head.
Dud: So, it’s pretty comprehensive, Pete.
Pete: As it should be, Dud. Data Warehousing is about getting from A to B; it’s not just the car but everything that goes with it. Pretending otherwise is just perpetuating a stupid, vacuous and ignorant lie.
Dud: It also doesn’t consider our many options, depending on the circumstances. In the case of transport? Buses, trains, planes, boats, lifts, escalators, bicycles, electric and manual roller-blades, skateboards, motorbikes, horses, and just walking.
Pete: Well said, that man!
Martyn Jones, Santiago de Compostela, 17th October 2024.
“Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.”
Plato
Narrator: Let us start with a softball question. The kind that even your granny could have knocked out of the park.
How does a business describe the value it gets from accessing and analysing fresh quality data to decide what is strategically, tactically and operationally preferable for the future of the industry?
It’s not a trick question, but a tricky one that is as hard to grasp and come to terms with as a mightily greasy piglet with a very questioning tail.
What do Pete and Dud think about that? Get ready kiddies. Let’s take a peek…
GOOD STRATEGY 