HOW TO SUCCEED WITH BIG DATA

Here are the ten golden rules of belief for surefire big data success:

  1. Never question the data. The questioning of data is vanity.
  2. Never question the big data gurus. The questioning of big data gurus is conceit.
  3. You can never have too much data. The more data, the merrier you will be.
  4. The value of data is priceless. Trying to value data is pointless.
  5. You will have no other God other than data. Belief in reason and humanity as applied to data is heretical. Big data and instrumental reasoning are for big projects. Just ask the NSDAP.
  6. Always remember that Bernard Marr is the Dan Brown of technology. See also: big data and instrumental reasoning.
  7. LinkedIn is the fountain of all information, experience, knowledge and wisdom about big data, AI, advanced analytics and how to get a sexier job than Rafa Nadal, Lionel Messi, Magic Johnson or Neil Hamilton.
  8. Statisticians require statistical knowledge and experience. Data scientists only require access to google and the wits to be able to put together a viable search query. This puts data scientists at an advantage. The less one needs to know, the less one is prone to the risks associated with forgetfulness.
  9. A modest big data vocabulary is new knowledge and experience. You don’t need to know how to do big data, just how to string together meaningless clichés and buzzwords.
  10. You should resist the temptation of treating all data as your own. But, if you accidentally stumble across someone else’s data? Then that’s another matter.

There you have it.

Have a great weekend, wherever you may be. And stay safe and well!

Big data might be a bit of a joke, but COVID-19 is deadly serious.

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